You wore your “goal dress.”

It barely zipped. But you made it work.

You promised yourself,  just small chops, nothing crazy.

Then the waiter came with jollof.

The second round came with pounded yam.

By the time you were doing zanku to “Who’s Your Guy,” you’d had Fanta, small chops, goat meat, cake, ice cream… and regret.

You smiled in the photos.
But you left that wedding bloated, guilty, and back at square one.

Again.

THE PROBLEM:

Nigerian weddings are designed to make you forget your goals.

Let’s be honest:

• You arrive hungry because you didn’t want to “eat twice.”
• The food is free. Abundant. Everyone’s eating. You don’t want to “look extra.”
• Aunties are watching what’s on your plate like they’re EFCC agents.
• If you refuse food, they’ll say: “You’re doing fitfam now ehn? Okay o!”

But here’s the worst part:
Weddings aren’t one-time events anymore. They’re a season.

Engagement this weekend.
White wedding next.
Your cousin’s introduction in 2 weeks.
Your best friend’s bridal shower next month.

Every one of them comes with:

• Free calories
• Social pressure
• Zero planning
• And a thousand ways to say “I’ll start again Monday.”

This isn’t just a “cheat meal.”
It’s a cultural calorie ambush.

THE FIX:

Let’s be tactical. No guilt, no drama. Just control the variables.

✅ Pre-Game Your Stomach

Never go to a wedding hungry.
Eat a filling, high-protein meal at home before you leave:

• 2 boiled eggs + oats
• Moi moi + grilled fish
• Chicken breast + cucumber

Why?
Because when you’re full, the first meat pie won’t seduce you.

✅ Choose Your Battles

Pick ONE indulgence:

• Small chops OR rice
• Meat OR dessert
• Drink OR swallow

Never all three.

Give yourself a “win” you can control.

✅ Plate Strategy

Use a small plate.
Go slow.
No second rounds unless it’s veggies or protein.

✅ The “One Auntie” Rule

You’re allowed ONE guilt comment from one Auntie per event. After that, smile and walk away. Your body, your choice.

✅ Detox with Habits, Not Starvation

Don’t punish yourself after. Just:

• Drink 2L water the next day
• Go for a 30-min walk
• Eat lean + green meals for 2 days
  No need for detox teas. Your body just needs a rhythm reset.

REAL TALK:

You’re not weak.

You’re not “indisciplined.”

You’re just swimming against a cultural current that rewards overfeeding and shames self-control.

But guess what?

You can still enjoy weddings, laugh, dance, eat – without sabotaging your progress.

All it takes is intention.

You’re not dieting.
You’re designing your lifestyle.

READY TO TAKE CONTROL?

Been to a wedding lately that completely wrecked your progress?
Drop your story in the comments – I’ll share mine too.

Let’s break the shame and build better habits. Together.